Sadness with joy and happiness

As a sojourner on this planet, I am well conscious of my beginning in the past, and the moment of my death in future as well. Sometimes I know that it is deeply sorrowful to remember of my fate, limit, destiny, the darkness of the other side of my life. However, I know also I am blessed to experience the beautiful moments, the dawning twilight, buds coming out from the soil, the splendid beauty of blooming flowers, and starring eyes of a child, and the spirit not fearing of fate. Travelling the long way I took in the past, I met some who loved me, others who ignored and even betrayed me. Yet, I believe that I am still abundantly blessed to have my own boys who are also partaking in their journey as sojourners of this planet. Yes, it is painful to remember they are also destined to say good bye to this world when time comes as I will.

However, I come to know that everything given in this world is a divine sign for the direction to the truthfulness and beauty of life. When I feel my boys are grown enough to stand for themselves, and begin to look for meaning of life for their own. Like a seaman struggling for making a voyage in the sea of huge waves, I see my boys are moving on, declaring bravely that “I am the master of my fate!,” “I am the captain of my soul!” Until I see my beloved sons fighting for their own lives, I did not know life is so holy and splendid. Yes, it is not the matter of pleasure or achievement you could get, but the matter of mastering your own fate beyond your wrath, fear, and horror of dark shade.

The trembling happiest moment I experience with my heart is to see the unconquered spirit, the not feared face before the horrible shade drawn before you. The final victory I long for is not to get the named victory in the world like fortune, love, or honor, but becoming the master of my fate consistently, until I welcome my own death, without fearing of the terror of the misfortunes. Even if I am fatal to make errors in my life, I will never surrender my free spirit to nihility, believing in God who is faithful and supportive for dignifying lives and sharing the suffering of lives limited to mortality in the universe. When I have to say good bye to everything, I will be very much thankful to God for his gracious guidance which leads me to be a human.